Gentlemen’s Quiz
In the company of feminists…
- In the company of feminists, coitus should be referred to as:
a) Lovemaking b) Screwing c) The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town 2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you’ve both shared: a) Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship b) Your blood-test results c) Five tequila slammers 3. You time your orgasm so that: a) Your partner climaxes first b) You both climax simultaneously c) You don’t miss Sports Center (Sky) 4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is: a) Healthy, creative love-play b) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to c) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about 5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you’ve just had sex with is: a) The best part of the experience b) The second best part of the experience c) $100 extra 6. Your girlfriend says she’s gained five pounds in weight in the last month. You tell her that it is: a) Not a concern of yours b) Not a problem – she can join your gym c) A conservative estimate 7. You think today’s sensitive, caring man is: a) A myth b) An oxymoron c) A moron 8. Foreplay is to sex as: a) Appetizer is to entree b) Priming is to painting c) A queue is to an amusement park ride 9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship? a) “I hope we can still be friends.”
b) “I£m not in right now. Please leave a message after the tone….”
c) “Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You.”
- A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
a) Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy b) Is uptight and a waste of time c) Shouldn’t have sat next to you on the bus in the first place
If you answered “A” more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really are a man.
If you answered “B” more than 7 times, check into therapy, you’re still a little confused.
If you answered “C” more than 7 times, call me up. Let’s go drinking.
